I think there is a massive identity crisis for a large part of the population.
Maybe it’s due to the rapidly changing social and political landscape, and maybe it’s because prior generations have been less free to express their identities and more pressured to fit into molds. Regardless of the cause, I think it’s fair to say that for a lot of us, we have not been able to be ourselves or even explore what “ourselves” looks like.
For a lot of us, because of the way we think, feel, look, or act, being ourselves didn't feel safe. For even more of us, there is a layer to ourselves that we didn't even know existed and are just now starting to uncover.
I know many people who feel disconnected from their identity, purpose, and potential right now.
Who could possibly blame them with everything that is going on?! I mean geez…
Luckily, most of these people KNOW their purpose exists, but there is a huge canyon between where they are and understanding what that purpose is. And there is an even bigger canyon separating them from their belief in their ability to meet that purpose.
I’m going to pause right here and let you in on another one of my core beliefs✨✨✨:
The biggest “purpose” we have on this planet and in this life is TO BE OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES. Unapologetically, with all the compassion, love, and kindness we can dig from the depths of our being, To. Be. Ourselves.
Once we do this, our “path” becomes much more clear, but that kind of love for ourselves usually isn't easy…
So the path to knowing and understanding our purpose is infinitely illuminated by being our authentic selves. But how do we know who our authentic self is?
Who is Your Authentic Self?
Your authentic self is not who your parents want you to be or who your friends think you are. Your authentic self is not the mask you put on at work or even who you are when no one is looking. Those are all conditioned forms of the true you. Luckily for us, no matter how many layers of you pile on top of it, your true self, the real you, is always at the heart of everything you do, shining out with your best intention in mind.
So many of us are looking to create a life of substance that we enjoy, where we can be loved and accepted for who we are, all while creating the success that we desire (whatever that success looks like for each of us). What if the key to creating the life we want is peeling off the layers of the false self and letting our authenticity shine through rather than trying to hide it by fitting in?
The Masks We Wear (...metaphorical masks)
Growing up, I had a hard time with this because of my depression and anxiety. Somewhere along the line, I learned that if I pretended to be happy, energetic, and positive things were just plain easier. I would have more friends, be better received at home, and not feel like such an outsider. This decision to pretend created a thick mask that I presented to the world but it was only semi-permanent. No one can pretend continuously. Probably more often than I remember, this mask would crack and break, and then the Amy underneath would show, to the shock, concern, and/or disappointment of those who witnessed it. The shame of being “found out” was always intense.
I think we all experience this in one way or another. Sometimes, the masks we subconsciously create for protection fall away and force us to accept who we really are and where we are at in our growth. This is a good thing! It’s an opportunity to give ourselves compassion and care, to acknowledge ourselves and move forward. Everyone wears masks to some degree and most people aren't doing so to maliciously deceive, again, it’s a subconscious defense mechanism.
Fake it Till You Make It???
My beloved sister and I were having a conversation as she was doing a round of interviews for her amazing organization and institute. Sometimes, rather than being ourselves in interviews, we try to be who we think the interviewer wants us to be… but this isn't sustainable and often wastes the time of everyone involved. If we approach life in this way and “get the job” (opportunity, relationship… etc) it is only a matter of time until we are no longer able to keep the act up and a truer version of ourselves comes through. Now, that truer version may be completely accepted and loved… or not... There’s no real way to tell. It’s best to go into every interaction, regardless of what it is, as close to our true selves as possible.
Personally, I was taught to “fake it until I made it” and I wonder how many others were taught the same, the implication that being ourselves just wasn't good enough.
🗝️Side note: If someone doesn't want us for who we are in all of our authentic glory… is that a situation we even want to be in in the first place? I say no! ✌🏽
Unfortunately, putting on a mask is very much an unconscious response for many of us. The question is, “How can we start to become more aware of when we are hiding behind a mask and choose a more authentic path?”
The Authentic Path is Bright
The answer is in getting to know, on an intimate and energetic level, who we are and accepting that person unconditionally. When we truly believe that who we are is an OK person to be, the need for masks/hiding resolves itself. When we have Radical Self-Compassion and Love for the unique being we are, subconsciously, that person feels safer and safer to show up.
Luckily for us all, there are infinite tools and resources to assist us in continuing the journey towards knowing, accepting, and loving ourselves. Here are some of my favorites:
Human Design: Hands down my go-to tool for understanding who we are at an energetic level and how we show up in the world around us. I (and most people who have used this tool) have had so many “ah-ha” moments and revelations about my experiences. It’s such a practical tool to improve our lives and our ability to create what we want. To learn more about Human Design, go here! Ready to take the next step and get a Human Design Reading?! Awesome! Check out my services page and choose the best one for you!
Books: These books have helped me along my 12-year journey in the area of seeing myself more clearly and learning to truly love that person:
You Can Heal Your Life- Louise Hays
Anatomy of the Spirit- Caroline Myss PH.D
The Gifts of Imperfection- Brene Brown
The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle
Meditation: Centering yourself and bringing love and light into your experience is key to living a life more in alignment with your highest self and guess what… your highest self LOVES and ADORES every aspect of you.
Aligning with your highest self will automatically bring more self-acceptance in. Here is access to a free Gratitude mediation I created to get you going.
There are many more tools for you to discover if you are interested in beginning or continuing your journey of Radical Self-Love and Compassion. I would love to invite you to connect with me to discuss how I can assist you! Schedule a free Guidance Call here.
Until then, get started by downloading your free activity sheet Leading Yourself with Love in 2022.